what is it like to miss someone? i wish i knew. for weeks, i won’t speak to a family member. for months, i won’t see or barely talk to my close friends. but i know they’re always there and so i just sit there. oh god and this is the flaw! i take for granted their affection and care for me and i never feel the need to reciprocate. i don’t even know how. i suppose and hope one day in the future (dear god, i’m 20) i’ll wake up and realize that i might’ve finally learned how to appreciate company and people.

i’m also hoping the mental breakdowns stop now.

note to self: how to get out of a funk: do things and do your work.